Thursday, July 17, 2014

What If...

Here's what it feels like to get some respect. For years now, I've been telling doctors, "excuse me, but I think something more is going on here than just neuropathy. My symptoms started long before I had any specific metabolic symptoms and they began with an injury. Isn't there some way to make sure what it is?"

And for years I've been patted on the head and been told that I'm fat (like I missed that bit of data) and that therefore it was "obviously" diabetic neuropathy and "obviously" would go away if I was a good girl. How did we know I was a bad girl? Not by looking at metabolic numbers. No. But, because I was in pain. Yep we know the source of your pain because you have metabolic conditions and we know you are not taking good care of those metabolic conditions because you are in pain.

I took a course in logic when I was 17 years old. Spock was my favorite sci fi character. I can recognize a circular argument at 50 paces with my eyes closed.

Well today, for the first time, a doctor listened.

I'm going for more tests, but she actually said it might be something different and something more treatable. Physical therapy, supportive prosthetics, different medications and, maybe in a year or two no more daily pain. And...

(Dare I write it?)

Maybe, just maybe, with a little bit of luck and a lot of hard work I can walk again without help.

I really, really, really don't want to get too excited here, but I am hopeful about my body.

Possibly for the first time in 17 years.

I won't know for months and maybe years if this is going to work out, so I am prepared for some ups and downs.


What if...